A surprised, belated Birthday
It was from my MRS friends, they’re so sweet. I miss them so much after changing back to Des.Comp. I think im crazy, changing back and forth, but as i went on, down the path to pick up the pieces for my completion, they were friends that i was fortunate to meet. I always want to be a part of them. Thankz for a great reunion day.
My 22nd birthday seemed very special. Firstly, it was an early party, again surprised, from my dearest friends, it was fun and i really appreciated it. Then a remarkable trip with my family. Even though it was raining, but for the first time in my life i called a rainy day a good day. I felt warm and excited at the same time, for the fact that knowing my family still remember my birthday (which was a surprise actually). I really enjoyed it. Thirdly, it’s today. I wanted so much to meet my uni friends again after the long holiday. Today just made me feel welcomed and warm, just like other times we went out last year and i just had the feeling that i still wanted so much to be involved with them. I was touched when reading their card. It’s just unfortunate that i cant have both..what i want to do and my friends, but knowning that im still a part of them, just makes me feel better.
3 months holiday seemed like hell with all that decision making and choices. The feeling of stucking at one place, didnt know where to go, didnt know whom to turn to…drove me crazy. Nothing was certain, even now. The path i took, dont know where it will take me. But I really dont want to take thing for granted anymore…family and friends…those parts of me…can never change. Expectation once blinded me when it came at a wrong time and a wrong place, when i was totally on my own, lost and confused. Then there it came mistakes and falses, strayed thoughts…but when i realised expectation was wrong, i almost lost myself. Certainty is nowhere to be found. I just float on my path…no more expectation.
Beside my family, friendship takes parts in my life. I even tried to shake it off once or twice, cos i once lost faith in it. But what surprised me was…it has never been removed, it was always there. I miss my friends, both non-uni and uni.