i looked at those photos and asked myself “where am I? where are you?”. Time has passed so fast, hasnt it? I don’t know where i stand right at this moment. I don’t know how i can sense the happiness i used to have years ago. I’ve changed, so have you.
i looked at those photos and i missed “my home”, where i used to live and grew up. 8 years fly like a rocket. My subconsciousness always has the images of every inch of that place. I was meant to remember it very well. Even the different reality cant change my memory. But it changes my will of coming back. The place has changed. I cant find the connection to it anymore. My home doesnt look the same. It has a different spirit of whom that possesses it. Not my spirit.
I miss my childhood. I miss those days i used to run around “half naked” under the rain with all the kids on my street. The days i was naughty, went around and stealing fruits with my friends. The days with those swimming lessons with my dad. The days i was bullied and bullied others. Kids do all sort of things. Kids…those days were the best days of my life.
the days i was at primary school. I found some motivation to run after “somebody” everyday. I’m not sure what it was all about. I was just playing around, got involved in this little kiddo fantasy, my fantasy. My own world of a tale. I kept wishing. I kept attacking. I was a damn free spirit. I didnt think of consequences, i didnt care. Because i was just a kid. I was myself, who i can never be again. I told somebody ” if i was a…i would…”. I got back a smile. Kids do all sort of things. Things that an adult doesnt have a courage to do.
high school, i found precious moment of happiness, i learnt the meaning of friendship. I found them. They engraved marks in my hearts which would never go away. I found peace, trust, sincerity, wills to be there. I found joy, motivation and they inspired me. Without hesitation, without fear, without doubts, without boundary. We were connected, just because of who we really were. We never had to lie, never had to pretend. We were just simply US. Again we were those free spirits who never narrowed ourselves into any sort judgement or belief. We only believed in what we could do, as who we were. We didnt look too far beyond the horizon. We just enjoyed the moments we were together with much appreciation. I could never find that happiness again. I was satisfied and i was truly connected. Thank you, I will always cherish and love you.